Posts Tagged ‘Forgiveness’

5 New Ways To Start The New Year

I’ve thought a lot about how I’ve celebrated the New Year in previous years. I sat with my journal and pen, and I asked myself: “How have I celebrated past New Years well and not well?” The “well” list was short and to the point; the “not well” list was much longer and all over the place. The “well” list featured things I’ve done only in recent years; the “not well” list was mostly from years long gone. Maybe I am finally getting the hang of how to celebrate the New Year?!

Creating a Space

It started in the second week of December. Not just an urge; more like a command. Eventually, I couldn’t put it off any longer. It was time to Continue Reading

Finding Your Purpose With St. Francis

The ego's song of surrender to the divine

This May, I am a guest on the St. Francis Heart Full of Love pilgrimage to Assisi, hosted by Dancing Spirit Tours. On the pilgrimage, I will give a 3-day Love & Enneagram retreat, which features the work of St. Francis, Rumi, Tagore, and other great mystics and saints.

Saint Francis is knocking on my door. He’s everywhere I am. He appears on my Facebook page, he’s quoted in articles I’m sent, my daughter Bo is learning about him at school, and he constantly pops into my mind throughout the day. I imagine it has something to do with my excitement about the St. Francis tour. In my experience,
a pilgrimage begins the moment you say yes to it, even before you Continue Reading

Is your Inner Child Holding You Back?

How to Break Free of This Cycle

by Robert Holden, Ph.D
One of the themes I’ve been exploring in my inner child counseling is the pressure I put on myself when I was young to be “a good little boy.”

Early on, I worked out that good little boys didn’t get shouted at, didn’t get hit, and didn’t get into trouble. I hoped that if I was always good and never bad, my parents would never say to me, “We are so disappointed in you.” I hated it when they said that.

However, being good full-time is hard work. You have to suppress a lot of feelings. You can’t always speak the truth. Sometimes you have to lie. And that feels bad.

A Battle No One Can Win

Trying to be a “good little boy” is difficult for lots of reasons. For starters, adults have different versions of what good is. Your mum and your dad might not agree on what good is. Your grandparents probably don’t agree with what your parents think. Your teachers have their own ideas—and so too do your friends. And everyone changes his or her mind all the time anyway, and that just makes you mad. You can’t win. It’s so unfair. But you tell yourself that you mustn’t say anything because—of course—that’s not “good.” Continue Reading

What is Forgiveness?

Louise Hay and Robert Holden, Ph.D. Discuss Forgiveness

Louise and I are well into our second day of conversations on forgiveness. The rain is still falling in San Diego. Strong gusts of wind blow against the windows. The low-flying clouds move fast through the air. Periodically, small patches of blue break through the ceiling of grey. The sun is up there somewhere. We’ve been indoors most of the time, doing our inner work, save for one trip to Whole Foods, to stock up for dinner. Our conversations have been intense, full of insight, and healing. There’s always something new to learn about forgiveness. A little willingness goes a long way.

“Louise, what is real forgiveness?” I ask, digging for more insights.

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Where Do you Rank on the Forgiveness Scale?

Learn How to Score Yourself and Transform Your Relationship with Yourself and Everyone

by Robert Holden, Ph.D
“We don’t need to know how to forgive. All we need is to be willing to forgive,” says Louise. Saying yes to forgiveness is the first step. When you affirm I say yes to forgiveness, it activates something in you, and healing begins. Your willingness orchestrates the healing and arranges for you to meet the right people and find the necessary help along the way. As you keep on saying yes to forgiveness, every step of the way, your healing journey takes you from the past into the present and to an entirely new future.

This spiritual practice is called The Forgiveness Scale. This practice helps you cultivate the necessary willingness to experience the blessings of total forgiveness. The Forgiveness Scale is based on a scale of 0 to 100 percent. You begin by choosing a person to focus on. You can choose yourself, which is always a good idea. Or you can choose anyone else, even someone with whom you have only a slight grievance. You’ll notice there isn’t anyone in your life that you don’t have a bit of a grievance with.

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5 Key Measures of Real Success

A Writing Exercise

I’m in Milan, Italy today coaching a team of leaders who are responsible for three global brands that are each the No.1 brand in their field.

We began the day by reviewing the question, “What is success?” As ever, the conversation was interesting, informative, and helpful.

“What is success?” is a good question.

After that, we explored the question, “What is REAL success?”

This time the conversation went to a whole new level. It was illuminating, energizing, and revelatory. “What is REAL success?” is a great question. Continue Reading